Watch your language

Self-deprecating humor about weight is the way some women create camaraderie. Those little jokes may seem harmless, but each one is actually an attack on your self-esteem, reinforcing all the body hatred you've internalized in the past. Just for a day, try paying attention to the words you say about your body, even if you're just kidding. Listen to the way your talk about your size, your attractiveness, your athletic ability, your age . . . What do you hear? Disgust? Sarcasm? Self-pity? False modesty? Apology?  Also pay attention to who's around when you find yourself saying negative things about yourself. Do you do it to fit in with other women who feel bad about their bodies? To fend off criticism by criticizing yourself before anyone else can? Is it just a habit because you and other women around you have been doing it for so long? Listen for the exceptions to the put-downs, too. How do you sound when you're feeling really good about your body, exactly as it is?